January 6, 2009
2:33 PM
Setting yourself up to fail
| Expected | Actual |
| Chinese | 7 | 7 |
| Art | 5 - 6 | 4 |
| English | 5 - 6 | 5 |
| Maths | 5 - 6 | 6 |
| Chem | 5 - 6 | 5 |
| B&M | 7 | 5 |
| Raw Score | 34 - 38 | 32 |
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| EE | B | C |
| TOK | B | C |
| Bonus Points | 2 | 1 |
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| Total Score | 36 - 40 | 33 |
Well, the results speak for themselves. On my standards, its not horribly bad or anything, but not good either. With emphasis on the 'not good'. I calculated the expected scores on a very much realistic scale. I was very much expecting to hit within that range, unless some freak accident came by and swept me off. Seems like it did. Art very much so, and B&M even more so. I remember giving up on Art many times throughout the past 2 years. Even though I pushed myself to the limit, took it as the biggest feat I've ever achieved, I kinda.. just gave up. That 4 wasn't outrageous or anything, but definitely still disappointing. B&M though, thats an outrage. I understand that prelims and all, those lousy 4s were due to negligent marking, but now.. what the fuck! Honestly. I have nothing else to say. I'll see if I can do something to get it remarked, but for now.. what the fuck! And EE TOK.. whatever man. Though I'm at least happy for my Maths and Chem. 5 and 6. Marks I was expecting, but didn't really feel like I would be getting. Its weird, like knowing you should be getting those grades, but getting them would be opposing the laws of nature or something. But either way, ^_^ for those.
Just seeing my expected and actual marks alone makes me feel slightly to moderately disappointed. But knowing that >60% of the cohort got 40 and above, my score's just sad, no? Perhaps I'm just not cut out for rigourous mugging and tests. Perhaps the many consecutive years of bad teaching piled up on me, eventually pulling me down. Or.. perhaps like I said before, I'm just ill-fated. Ever since entering ACS(I), everything just seemed like it was going down the drain, with the exception of the short-lived 2 years of Computer Studies. I took a gamble and switched it to Art, which in the end didn't pay off at all. But whatever.. I quote Crixalis 'Whats done is done'.
These 6 long years in ACS(I), though the friends and relationships were good, I wouldn't entirely say the same for the education. Leaving the school would be an end to one chapter, and the beginning of another. One that I believe would be better yet. The storm is over. Let's see a rainbow, shall we?